| |
Sheriff Vernon Ernie and the Boomtown Fire Volunteers responded to an alarm on Long Fuse Drive. By the time the crew arrived, the "fire" had been extinguished. In fact, there was no fire; it was just Adam Zapple trying to make breakfast. |
|
 |
A resident at 1630 Landslide Lane reported that his mailbox in the shape of a cow was missing.
It was located about 200 yards down the road. Apparently, it "wandered off" during the night. |
|
| |
A local politician was seen going door-to-door near the railroad station campaigning for state office. The man was cited for disturbing the peace and was encouraged to take his campaign to Seattle where they tolerate that sort of thing. |
|
 |
A frantic call for help was received at the Sheriff's office early Sunday morning. Seems that Bill Foldes' ostriches had escaped their pen and had somehow gotten inside Gertrude's Beauty Parlor where they ate up all of her hair treatments.
The birds were captured and returned to the farm, after which Bill said, "I'm sorry for all the trouble, but I have to admit, their feathers have never looked better." |
|
| |
Several local residents called in to report what they believed to be a domestic disturbance. Upon investigation, it turned out to be Izzie Yupyet singing in the shower. |
|
| |
A group of teenage boys were reported throwing firecrackers out of a warehouse window on Crumble Street. A neighbor complained because his children hadn't been invited to participate. |
|
| |
May Ikissu was seen wandering around town because she couldn't remember where she'd parked her car. After an extensive search, she remembered that she didn't own a car. She promised to write a note to herself so she wouldn't forget in the future. |
|
 |
Sheriff Vernon Ernie was dispatched to the home of Justin D. Nikotime in order to free a squirrel whose leg had gotten caught in a rabbit fence.
Justin reported, "The squirrel was going nuts."
The Sheriff managed to free the squirrel, after which he wrote Mr. Nikotime a citation for making lame jokes without a license. |
|
| |
An unmanned tractor drove directly down Blasting Cap Avenue until it clipped the side of Maxwell's Machine Shop and flipped over. Investigation revealed that Lazy Gunderson had left the engine idling while he took a brief nap in his field. When he woke up, the tractor was gone. This is now the twelfth incident involving Lazy and one of his tractors. He laughed and said, "I'm sure it won't be the last." |
|
| |
A huge blast was heard originating from the east side of town. Sheriff Ernie found Mr. Porta Rico unconscious and lieing in a debris field of a thousand tiny car parts. He'd tried to get the sticky carburetor on his truck started with a mixture of gun powder and alcohol. After being revived, Porta said, "Worked, sort of." He's in the market for a new used pickup, so if anyone knows of something, give him a call. Be sure to talk loud. |
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
